Stephanie Victoria

Writing to No One

Saturday, June 27, 2009, 6:44 PM

Gerard Way: “I literally said to myself, ‘Fuck art. I’ve gotta get out of the basement. I’ve gotta see the world. I’ve gotta make a difference.’”

I don't think anyone's ever tapped into my brain like that before. Except, I can't claim that it was September 11th that led me to start thinking about what I'm gonna do with myself until I'm no longer around. I was only 8, and I mean, I plan ahead, but not that far ahead.

Anyway, I've been gone for quite a while. First, one-acts, the dance shows, finals, and then the most epic month in Europe.

<--- Say hello to us in the British Airways terminal of the London Heathrow airport. By this point, we were just one ten-hour (or, as it turned out to be, more like one twelve-hour) flight from being back home, so we were tired and exhilarated and crazy and just completely starstruck. I will honestly never forget these 7 kids I spent this month depending on, fighting with, laughing with, bonding with. They were my life support in a place where it was really easy to feel totally alone. I was living with a family (well, actually, two different families at two different times) and it was nice but at the same time, it was a constant nagging in the back of my mind that these people have a connection I don't have here. Their entire lives are in that city in France.

Anyway, through all those days in Sailly-lez-Lannoy and Willem and Lille and Brugges and Oostende and London and Paris, I saw so many new things and met so many new people and did so many new things. I will never, ever, ever forget Noemie and Florian, or the crazy guy in the Paris metro, or how much I hated Austin those last few days or how much I wanted to cry when our host siblings ran alongside the train until only Robin could keep up and the pavement ran out.

I'll also never forget that I have a very high tolerance of alcohol. This is good. Alec, on the other hand, does not. That poor kid screwed himself over more than once...and in a strange way, endeared himself to Charles and company more than anything else he'd done all month. He did not, however, whore himself out (ahem, austin). I have no problem naming names...no one reads this anyway. It's one of the perks of being not, um, famous.

For the time being anyway. Eventually, if I do things right, I will have to partake in the electronic equivalent of burning this, and start in new blog for loving fans everywhere. Fans of what, exactly? Who knows? Something music related, at any rate. Or maybe I'll get around to writing that book some time before my demise.

I would totally write a play by play of the Europe trip, because that is the way I work, but that would probably be a novel-length summary in and of itself, and who wants to read that, really? It's all chronicled in my journal anyway, which has become extra spiffy with the artistic aid of one supercool Rachelle Leo. She is my hero. And now my journal is badass.

In other, completely irrelevant and totally just-for-fun, news, I have discovered the killer gene pool that is Gerard and Mikey Way from My Chemical Romance. They really are quite attractive nowadays...

And, finally, it is nearly my birthday. At last count? Three weeks until my birthday, which means I get my license in 23 days. That's kind of crazy; getting my license has always been this looming thing on the horizon that I've wanted so badly but have never had within reach. Now, I'm chillin on the verge. Swweeeet. Then again, the Europe trip was the same way. It never seemed to get closer, then all of a sudden, we were getting on a plane to head across the Atlantic, and before we knew it, we were home again.

My mother and I have already started looking at plane and train tickets for two summers from now. I'm definitely going back as soon as I can manage it.

**P.S. I've just had this thought: If the only two types of people in this world are those who have their heyday and then head downhill, only to reminisce whenever someone raises the subject of the "good old days" and those who do something brilliant with themselves, I sincerely hope I am the latter. I think I would give up the conventional cute house, white picket fence, dog and 2.5 kids for that.