about
Stephanie Victoria.
18. Studying Journalism and French.
Love gypsy music and pubs and knowing I'm busy without being able to pinpoint why.
Je suis fatiguée
Thursday, December 16, 2010, 6:13 PM
Even in French, it sounds sad.
I'm exhausted. And up until ten minutes, I was composed. I was okay. And then? I couldn't stop the tears. Why has everything, all of a sudden, decided to complicate itself? School used to be the one thing that I could manage. I'm shit at sports and art, and on bad days, my piano goes untouched, but academia? It always somehow made sense. Now, I dread going to class for anything other than superficial reasons. I want to curl up with a copy of Vanity Fair and a mug of Chamomile tea and just be, without the constant nagging figure cozied up in the back of my mind repeating the mantra of, "Hey, aren't you forgetting something?"
So, then, why?
Why do I do this to myself? Because, frankly, I take complete responsibility for how I feel tonight. No one forced me to be the way I am.
I do it because apparently, it's supposed to pay off.
